Christmas 2001, our youngest had just turned one. For the last two years I had been trying to communicate to my husband how unhappy I was in our marriage. Not hearing my words, or taking heed of them, I had asked for a separation. Christmas was a dark season that year. On Christmas morning I…
Liz Phair.
I was late to the Liz Phair game. Exile in Guyville came out in 1993 and somehow didn’t hit my radar for about a decade. In 2002, when I became a newly divorced single mom, it flitted across my radar and I fell in love. I felt like everything she wrote was a part of…
i. and love. and you.
hands dart like fish. swim. play. settle into place. fingers entwine. seek. graze. push. pull. wiggle toes. search for more. looks furtive. piercing. relaxed. playful. understanding. pleading. slide away. bodies heat and cool. find each other. pull apart. the space is cold. hearts beat. separate. together. separate. i. and love. and you. three words. unspoken.…
Mommas.
I've been watching my social media the last couple of weeks as we wrapped up this school year. I'm watching more than one friend celebrate a graduation from High School, and for some of us, it's the last time we wrap up a school year. This is it. All the babies will have flown the…
And the baby turns 18.
9.22.18 It really hadn’t sunk in until about 4 minutes ago. The baby is turning 18 tomorrow. 18. The baby. It’s not like I haven’t been thinking about this year for… well awhile. My primary life role has been mother. I’ve been a mother since I was a fresh faced 23 year old. From that…
Being single and Goo Goo Doll triggers
12.8.18 So I’m laying in bed this morning doing what I do when I wake up in the morning, I’m scrolling through my facebook mindlessly. A friend of mine had posted a video. I don’t know why I clicked on it. It’s the Goo Goo Dolls singing Iris. One of the most overplayed songs of…
Whole 30.
So yes, this is going to be a post about my journey through whole 30. I recognize there are approximately 7 billion such blog posts, but this was a pretty radical 30 days for me, and I'm going to share it. First of all, I jumped into this without reading much about it. My best…
Growing up.
My son was recently going through his "old" room, (having upgraded twice as each older sibling moved out) and found a whole bunch of his "treasures". Included in this category: a bag of broken crap collected from the street while walking home from elementary school, a chunk of concrete, stuffed animals, bouncy balls (around 100…
6 years.
6 years ago today my last long term relationship ended. It was really sad, and it wasn't my call, but I completely agreed with him. For awhile we stayed friends and after awhile we weren't anymore. There are still days I want to pick up the phone and call Chris and tell him something about…
2017.
I haven't written much this year. Historically, I write something that feels profound about my year sometime in December, and then January comes and wrecks it. I've had a string of rough starts to years, but January 2017 started quite lovely. By February we were back on our "well what strange twists will 2017 have…
ing. 