Hands.

I was riding in an Uber in New Mexico and was struck by my drivers hands. She was about my age, straddling that line between her 40s and 50's. That age where your clothes or hair might not give away your age, but your face and hands sure do. She was listening to the local…

6 years.

6 years ago today my last long term relationship ended. It was really sad, and it wasn't my call, but I completely agreed with him. For awhile we stayed friends and after awhile we weren't anymore. There are still days I want to pick up the phone and call Chris and tell him something about…

Sally.

This was originally written in June, 2012. There are a lot of things I learned from Sally. The older I get, and the further away I've come from that special relationship, the more those lessons resonate and come into focus. Here is my Sally story: After Steve and I separated in 2002, I spent a…

The Non-Anniversary.

A note to my 21-year-old self, on what would have been your 26th Anniversary. I can still picture you sitting on blue carpet in your veil and flannel shirt. Sitting in your sister’s old bedroom, leaning against the bed. I remember your doubts that day. I remember how you dried your tears, squared your shoulders,…

Rivers and Roads.

The last month or so, I've had a bunch of stuff swimming around in my head, my heart. Thoughts of impermanence, loss, life, meaning, past, present, future. Relationships, job. Children. Friends. People you know, people who dig deep, and people who leave. Life is a trip. Literally. I started my day today at an Estate…

Living.

There are things in life we have very little control over. When an illness strikes, depression takes over, mother nature rains down her wrath, a moronic cheeto gets voted into office, some things you just don't have much of a say in. At points over the  last few years  I was looking around at my life, and…

loves not lost.

so today marks the official 2 year anniversary of the break up. and i think from this point forward I'm going to try to quit referencing it as a milestone. i tend to look at my life in segments. my marriage. my life post steve/pre chris.  my relationship with chris. my life post chris. its…