not a resolutions list.

i don’t make resolutions lists. i do however make lists. lots of lists. i set goals all year long. but the turning of the calendar does lend itself nicely to taking a look back, and a solid look forward. 

looking back: two years ago, i had to set some new goals because 5 days into the new year my life took a major sharp turn. i had a pretty solid long term plan with a man i loved and when he decided that that was no longer our path, i had to really reassess my life, and myself. 

i started with goals for my house. that seemed the most pressing and the easiest to do when you are you know, kind of dying inside.

i made a list of something like 30 projects i wanted to complete. some where small, like replacing the back door lock. some where lofty (to me) like installing new lights, replacing the sink, putting in a new dishwasher. (dishwashers are easy. plumbing sucks. the end.)  i have the list somewhere. i might have possibly blogged about it in the past. anyway. so that was year one. trying to figure out how to move on after investing 5 years with someone. how to move on after you think you have THE REST OF YOUR LIFE plotted out. ok. new plan. 

year two was a whole new beast. it started with H2.0. a reset. a new way of thinking and approaching things. looking at situations and reacting to them in whole new ways. (forever grateful MD.).  new projects. new goals. and a new life plan was formed. or partially formed. i was asked this one simple question. if you had unlimited resources and could do anything you wanted, what would you DO. have you ever been asked that question? its pretty freeing actually. whats the first thing that pops into YOUR head? well, i took what popped into my head and that lead me down a whole new path, at least in my mind. and thats where all good things start right?  now, i DONT have unlimited resources, but having that knowledge in my brain led me to new lines of thinking. what CAN i do. and what is holding me back? Fear. always fear. so i made some progress in 2013. despite all the things that happened in 2013 what i did gain was clarity in who i am. and what I CAN do.

2014. time to put some of this knowledge into play. and set some higher goals. 

 here is a partial list of goals for 2014. some i share. some i don’t. but here are some basics. 

  • be a better mother. i don’t think you can ever stop working on being a good parent. 
  • Finding Balance: I have a tendency to be overly independent and spend an extraordinary amount of time alone. i’m going to work on changing that for 2014. i went from being classically codependent (the dependence on the needs of, or control of, another. It also often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.) to the polar opposite. Finding balance in all things is not my strong suit. 
  • take my fitness training to the next level. abs, i’d like to see you arrive this year.
  • running a minimum of 10 miles per week
  • travel more. at least one road trip every other month. 
  • more dedication to both of my blogs. 
  • strengthening my interpersonal relationships. i have a small circle of people i hold close. i’ve been pretty intensely self focused for the last year. it was much needed, but i’ve gotten way too good at being alone. i need to interact more and listen better. 
  • do something creative every day. that was my goal in 2013 and i let life sidetrack me. 
  • quit letting life sidetrack me. it certainly doesnt always go how i’d like. but i need to quit getting stuck every time the road takes a sharp turn. it is what it is. you can’t control it. 
  • in the wind. every day. in the wind.

 

 

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