6 years.

6 years ago today my last long term relationship ended. It was really sad, and it wasn't my call, but I completely agreed with him. For awhile we stayed friends and after awhile we weren't anymore. There are still days I want to pick up the phone and call Chris and tell him something about…

2017.

I haven't written much this year. Historically, I write something that feels profound about my year sometime in December, and then January comes and wrecks it. I've had a string of rough starts to years, but January 2017 started quite lovely. By February we were back on our "well what strange twists will 2017 have…

Sally.

This was originally written in June, 2012. There are a lot of things I learned from Sally. The older I get, and the further away I've come from that special relationship, the more those lessons resonate and come into focus. Here is my Sally story: After Steve and I separated in 2002, I spent a…

The Non-Anniversary.

A note to my 21-year-old self, on what would have been your 26th Anniversary. I can still picture you sitting on blue carpet in your veil and flannel shirt. Sitting in your sister’s old bedroom, leaning against the bed. I remember your doubts that day. I remember how you dried your tears, squared your shoulders,…

Rivers and Roads.

The last month or so, I've had a bunch of stuff swimming around in my head, my heart. Thoughts of impermanence, loss, life, meaning, past, present, future. Relationships, job. Children. Friends. People you know, people who dig deep, and people who leave. Life is a trip. Literally. I started my day today at an Estate…

Living.

There are things in life we have very little control over. When an illness strikes, depression takes over, mother nature rains down her wrath, a moronic cheeto gets voted into office, some things you just don't have much of a say in. At points over the  last few years  I was looking around at my life, and…

2016. Thank you.

I wanted to wait until 2016 was officially behind me before I said anything, no need to tempt fate.  2016. You were a good year. If you've been following along at all, my years start out like this "last year was hard, but I've learned a lot, I feel better prepared for what life throws…

Happy Holidays.

In the last two weeks I had road trips with the same co-worker and he loves Christmas. He loves holiday music. Which lead me to ask "what do you love about christmas". And I swear to you his eyes sparkled and he lit up and told me. And he asked why I didn't love Christmas.…