I've written about this before, when Taylor went off to college. This isn't a new subject, to anyone, myself included. I still remember vividly, watching Taylor walk into her first dorm. The truck unloaded, the pictures taken, the hugs goodbye. Her casual walk off into her new life. My tears on the drive home. But … Continue reading letting go.
Last night I couldn't sleep. I was exhausted. I had one of those days where I felt ineffectual and frustrated and all too hyper aware of every single thing in the universe. I went home and went to yoga and tried to calm my mind but it wouldn't stop. During shavasana I couldn't quit running … Continue reading Human. Be(ing).
Last night I did something I haven’t done in a really long time. I went out and met some new friends for drinks. I became online acquainted with a really great couple through a friend awhile back, and the four of us met up. We (the couple and I) are all beer people and the … Continue reading Just what I needed.
For as long as I can remember, the 4th of July has been my favorite holiday. As a kid, there wasn't an expectation of what to do. We didn't have a lake place. We didn't even know people HAD lake places. Mom would fill up the old Coleman water jug with lemonade. She'd pack up … Continue reading I think it was the 4th of July.
Being ok while being single isn’t just something single people say while they search feverishly for the next partner. It’s actually a legit state of being, a kind of single person Zen, that you can actually get to. I didn’t think this was possible. But I’m here to tell you, it exists. Not only does … Continue reading Hi. I’m Heather. And yes, I’m “still” single.
I have few childhood memories. Peonies are one of them. We had a whole line of them down our backyard along the fence. The backyard was immense when I was a child. It took forever to get from one side to the other. I loved to walk along that long row of Peonies and smell … Continue reading Peonies.
This is my sisters room. The carpet is blue. I picked the room closest to the stairs, with access to the attic. But I'm jealous of her two closets and copious sunshine. I don't want to want my room and her room too. But I do. I scale the back of the house. I find … Continue reading The carpet is blue.
My main goal in mothering, was to try to not be my mother. I'm constantly measuring my aptitude as a mother against the yardstick of disfunction. My goal of all time spent with my kids is to have them leave feeling loved and liked and valued. Sometimes I think I spend so much time making … Continue reading Mothering.
i dont know why i feel the need to write a preface here. this is my space and i've used it pretty liberally over the years to pour my guts out. but sometimes doing so feels . . . narcissistic. well, maybe it is. but you know what? here is the thing. because social media … Continue reading just. being.
Tomorrow is the three year anniversary of Casey being gone. I spent two hours in the car tonight driving home from Indy, letting the memories wash over me. Not trying to block them but remembering and crying, smiling, and crying some more. The first year felt like denial. Since I didn't see him but every … Continue reading Ghosts.